Sh#t Gaijin Say

‘Talk about culture shock…’

‘I live in a bubble’

‘I’ve been here too long’

‘I need off this island’

‘Just pretend you don’t understand’

‘I don’t understand’

‘I don’t know’

‘I don’t get it’

‘No idea’


‘Are you staying another year?’

‘What are you doing this summer?’

‘Did you get a single or multiple re-entry permit?’

‘Have you climbed Fuji?’

‘You’re climbing Fuji again?!’

‘How good is your Japanese?’

‘Are you taking the JLPT?’

‘What does ~ mean?’

‘Can you read this?’

‘I need a drink’

‘I need some onigiri’

‘I need to hit up a combini’


‘Can we stop at a vending machine?’

‘I miss Mexican food’

‘I miss Italian food’

‘I miss normal food’

‘I miss my mum’s cooking’

‘I’m SO over rice’

‘I’ve gotten fat’

‘This tastes weird’

‘Whadda ya reckon this is?’

‘What the hell IS this?!’

‘I hate driving in this country’

‘Man, Japanese drivers…’

‘Did you see that?!’

‘I just got out of a speeding ticket’

‘I have to do some J study’

‘Is he dating a J girl?’

‘J pop sucks’

‘I can’t, I’ve got no money’

‘I can’t, I’m saving money’

‘I’m broke’

‘Ask me again after pay day’

‘When is pay day?’

‘Why are there so many forms?!’

‘How do you flush the toilet?!’

‘What are all those buttons for?’

‘What’s with all the free tissues?’

‘Why do they always ask my blood type?’

‘Is it safe to plug this in here?’

‘Why did they make me pee in a cup?

‘I can’t get shoes here’

‘What shoe size are you?’

‘Good luck getting shoes here’

‘Size 30? Forget it’

‘Do you know how to get there?’

‘I need to go to Tokyo’

‘Let’s ikimasu’

‘You wanna meet at Starbucks?’

‘Meet you at the station?’

‘I’m gonna Shink it’

‘Why Japan? Why?’

‘Seriously Japan?’

‘Oh, Japan’


‘F#cking Japan’

‘It’s freezing!’

‘My apartment is freezing

‘Why is there no central heating/double glazing/insulation here?’


‘English is hard’

‘I can’t speak English any more’

‘Check out this Engrish’

‘Did you feel that earthquake today?’

‘That was a big one’

‘I don’t like those big ones’

‘Yeah, that one woke me up too’

‘Was that an earthquake?’

‘I’d be lost without my iPhone. Literally.’

‘Do you have an iPhone?’

‘You should get an iPhone’

‘You’ve got an iPhone, Google it’

‘Can you send me a pin?’

‘Where can I find ~?’

‘Have you seen ~ anywhere?’

‘If only I could get ~’

‘Who do we know with a Costco card?’

‘I hate sitting seiza’

‘I hate wearing a mask’

‘I hate Tokyo Station’

‘I hate katakana’

‘I hate pit toilets’

‘Don’t worry, I’ve done that too’

‘Yeah, I’m a ‘large’ here too’

‘Get used to the stares’

‘You’ll get used to it’

‘Nah, you’ll never get used to that’


‘This sh#t just got real’



‘I Gaijin Smashed it’

‘Did you Gaijin Smash it?’

‘Let’s Gaijin Smash it’

‘Gaijin Smash it?’

One thought on “Sh#t Gaijin Say

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