Trying to obtain a Japanese driver’s license today (AKA wrapped up in Japanese red tape):
08.00 Leave home. Drive to Mito (illegally on an invalid International Drivers License), listening to Foo Fighters 'Wasting Light'. 08.55 Arrive at JAF (Japan Automobile Federation). 09.00 Enter JAF. Hand over Australian license to be translated into Japanese (AKA katakana). 09.05 4 x JAF staff members discuss how to translate license into Japanese. 09.10 1 x JAF staff member explains what other 3 staff members are doing and why. 09.25 Pay ¥3,000 for translation. 09.30 Depart JAF with license translation. Drive to Japan License Centre (illegally on an invalid International Drivers License).09.55 Arrive at Japan License Centre 5 minutes before reception closes. Go to 'change foreign license to Japanese license' counter. Fill out a form requesting Japanese drivers license. 10.05 Told to walk across foyer, pay ¥2,400 to woman in glass box. 10.06 Pay said woman in glass box ¥2,400. Said woman sticks 3 stamps on form.
10.07 Return to first counter and submit stamped forms. Told to wait for name to be called. Sit in waiting area. Proceed to check email, facebook, Words With Friends in constant rotation. 11.00 Group of 4 Indian men sit down close by. They stare. 11.01 Friend calls. Catch 1 of said Indian men listening to conversation. 11.02 Finish call to Friend. Overhear Indian men discussing best way to start conversation with 'English speaking girl'. 11.03 Promptly go to bathroom. Relocate chairs upon return to waiting area. 11.55 Name is called. Told that staff are going on lunch and to return at 13.00. 11.56 Walk to nearest Cocos and buy lunch. 12.55 Return to waiting area after eating bento lunch in car while listening to Foo Fighters 'Wasting Light'. 13.23 Called to window 6 for 'talk' by Paper Pusher. Asked to provide evidence of having lived in Australia 3 months after receiving license. Impossible. New license obtained 1 week before moving to Japan. 13.27 Asked to provide International License (issued 1 month ago). Deemed useless evidence by very serious Paper Pusher at counter. 13.28 Requested to provide old licenses. Explain that old licenses were exchanged for new ones. Paper Pusher thinks. Asks for company phone number to call and discuss obvious problem. Am asked to wait. 13.52 Paper Pusher calls name and explains that company are contacting Queensland Transport for documentation of license history. Ha. Told to wait until company call back. 14.04 Name called by Paper Pusher (now BFF). Told that company have not called yet. Very perplexing. Return to waiting area. 14.12 Name called by BFF. Proceed to be interrogated about 13 year driving history. Asked hours of study for driving test, cars driven, hours driven, tested knowledge etc. Dig into depths of memory. Very hard. Return to waiting area after interrogation. 14.26 BFF closes blind to counter window. Bad sign. 14.32 Attempt to call company twice for update. Line busy. 14.56 BFF calls name. Am told that company could not obtain information. Unsurprised. Am told license will not be given until required evidence of license history from inception to current day is provided. Contemplate stabbing BFF in eye with pen. 14.57 Use all self control not to stab Paper Pusher (no longer BFF) in eye with pen. Politely bow. Walk out of Japan License Centre suppressing 6 hours of pent up waiting room anger. 15.00 Drive back home (illegally on an invalid International Drivers License as Paper Pusher would not issue Japanese license), listening to Foo Fighters 'Wasting Light' at high decibels, disobeying speed limits wherever possible. To be continued...
You're an outlaw! Bad bad girl! 😛