‘Sex Education’

A week into my official summer holidays I feel I now have the strength to write this entry. I am not sure if it was the heat or the kids knowing me for almost 3 months…but in the last few weeks they reached a certain comfort level with me. I comfort level where they (as in the boys) thought it was time to give me some ‘sex education’ lessons.

Going beyond the usual ‘do you love me?’ and ‘Miss Carla is beautiful’ the boys thought it time to up the level and test me out with new material. The frequency and audacity of these lessons increased as the mercury level did…to the point where it was a relief to know that a 6 week break was imminent. Don’t get me wrong…the kids are great…but nobody, least of all a blonde Australian, wants to be around a pack of (let alone 200) horny teenage boys.

The sex education lessons began with my first years…lunch with Mr Uruno and Mr Aita…of course. These 2 are going to get me into serious trouble before my time at Omiya Junior High is over, I just know it. They constantly try and get each other into trouble during class and take great pleasure in trying to induce giggles from me when Kurosawa Sensei has her back turned on the class.

These 2 little delights (who granted, are hugely entertaining and highly amusing) decided I needed a strip show with my lunch this particular day. Just how they came to this conclusion I have no idea, but before I had swallowed a mouthful of rice, I could hear belt buckles being undone and cries for my attention. I desperately tried to avert my eyes from the boys until I realised they were quickly rousing the suspicion of Ms Yamada at the front of the class. Mr Aita stubbornly stood square in the middle of the classroom with his pants around his ankles until I shot him a death stare…sadly catching a glimpse of his red and blue boxer shorts in the process.

Mr Aita (boxer shorts, playboy bunny) with the more innocent Mr Kato and Mr Nogami

This first lesson was quickly followed up by a second…during a second year lunch the following week I was treated to some friendly molestation between Mr Yutori and Mr Komori. I had heard stories from other ALT’s that the boys will grab each other’s nether regions at school (JJ has had the pleasure of a first hand experience…so to speak), but I had thankfully yet to witness it. Turns out, it was a sight I could have done without entirely.

Either the boys really didn’t want to talk to me over lunch or they had some private vendetta they were carrying out against each other because they spent the entire 20 minutes grabbing at each other’s crotches! Needless to say I lost my appetite.

Just when I thought Mr Aita had treated me enough with his little strip show during lunch, he provided me with more sex education…during a lesson that same week. This kid is obviously going to be a repeat offender as he attempts to make English amusing for all involved.

This fateful day I was standing innocently in my usual position to the right side of the classroom while Kurosawa Sensei reviewed the sentence structure of the day on the board. I was idly perusing the kid’s faces, trying to remember names when I spotted a playboy bunny in the class. I did a quick double take and realised this Japanese playboy bunny, complete with skimpy underwear and bunny ears was staring at me from where Mr Aita’s face should have been.

As the shock registered on my face, Mr Aita peeked out from behind his plastic playboy page protector, revealing a cheeky grin. He knew he had me as I started to get the giggles…this was going to be an interesting lesson.

The rest of the class quickly caught on to what was happening and egged Mr Aita on all the more. Every time Kurosawa Sensei turned her back on the class I was flashed with the playboy bunny. What ensued was a game of cat and mouse…I was going to get that thing out of Mr Aita’s possession before he got me into serious trouble.

I was successful too…using devious tactics during a ‘who am I’ game later in class I snatched the offending picture from Mr Aita when he thought my gaze was averted…the kid didn’t account for my excellent peripheral vision. Mr Aita spent the rest of class looking dejected as I had stolen his only source of female company and begged for her return when class ended.

Not to be outshone by the 1st and 2nd years, my 3rd years upped the level on my sex education on the last day of school. Having already had many discussions with the 3rd year boys about ‘deers f#cking in Nara forest like lesbians’ this came as no surprise really.

This lesson was led by the boys in my 3-2 class. I know these kids pretty well because they are Masuda Sensei’s form class (my main JTE) and they clean in the teacher’s room every day. Sadly this means they are quite comfortable with me now and try and test the boundaries…which they did on this particular day.

It started in class on this very hot and humid day. The stench Masuda Sensei was emitting alerted me to just how hot it was…the wilted looks on the kids’ faces was the other dead give away. The class literally groaned when Masuda Sensei mentioned the words ‘criss cross’ when we entered class…his favourite (and only) warm up game. Last thing these kids wanted to do was answer questions from me like ‘how’s the weather?’. We all knew it was hot, we all wanted to be somewhere else…

Masuda Sensei went about writing the date on the board while I stood there fanning myself and motioning to the kids that I was enjoying this torture just as much as them. Mr Ishi and Mr Mashiko noted my reaction to the heat and decided they would take it upon themselves to display to me how they would like to cool down.

Exchanging cheeky grins, they both started removing their shirts when I glanced in their direction! My eyes grew wide in surprise as I couldn’t fully comprehend what was happening…where do they get their audacity?! Thankfully the strip show only made it as far as their belly buttons before Masuda Sensei turned back to the class to start teaching.

The last lesson I received in sex education quickly followed this incident. A gaggle of the 3rd year soccer boys (who I have noted are a collection of the best looking and vain boys in the school) were gathered near the entry to the teacher’s room. One of the loiterers was Mr Ishi…one of the strippers from my last ditty.

The 3rd year soccer boys: Mr Haginoya, Mr Ijima (‘curry rice’, deers f#cking), Mr Toita, Mr Ishi (stripper), Mr Tobita and Mr Nogami

Obviously dissatisfied that he didn’t get to give me a strip show in class, Mr Ishi egged on his fellow team mates to speak to me in English. Now as amusing as these boys are, they either speak little to no English, or if they do, they are far too cool to let on to their mates that they do. Thus the only word that they manage to project in clear and perfect English to me was ‘sex’.

After all of these incidents I am thankful I have another 5 weeks break from these kids!!!

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