‘…and the Oscar for best ‘Japanese woman impersonation’ goes to….Carla Sensei!’.
Yes, that’s right, last week I had the pleasure of starring in my own little skit at school. I like to call it ‘Tea for Three’ and I am currently in negotiations with Hollywood to make Origami Carla into a sitcom series.
The Cast (as themselves):
Carla Sensei (Assistant Language Teacher)
Kocho Sensei (Principal)
Yamazaki Sensei (Head Teacher)
Kataoka Sensei (Math Teacher)
Nakajima Sensei (Art Teacher)
Watahiki Sensei (3rd Year Head Teacher)
Kocho Sensei’s Guests x 2
Omiya Junior High School Teachers’ Room and Kocho Sensei’s office
Carla Sensei is a young Australian ALT new to Omiya Junior High School in Hitachiomiya. At the school to help teach English, Carla Sensei is desperate to be accepted by the Japanese teachers. In a bid to win them over (and get invited to an enkai) she has been trying her hardest to adapt to Japanese culture and make a connection with them.
Two guest arrive at the door to the teachers’ room, requesting an audience with Kocho Sensei. Parched and weary from their travels, they rest in the comfort of Kocho Sensei’s office. But alas, something is amiss and trouble is brewing. Omiya Junior High’s tea lady, Seki San is absent for the afternoon, so who will rise to the challenge of providing tea for the guests?! The teachers’ room is quiet and Carla Sensei sees an opportunity…
OMIYA JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL TEACHERS’ ROOM
6 teachers are in the teachers’ room, all working quietly at their desks. 2 guests arrive at the door to the teachers’ room and introduce themselves.
YAMAZAKI SENSEI: Dozo…
(guestures towards Kocho Sensei’s Office)
KOCHO SENSEI: (as the guests enter his office) Dozo…
(closes the door to his office)
Yamazaki Sensei returns to his desk.
Carla Sensei scans the teachers’ room for signs of movement. Carla Sensei realises that none of the other teachers are racing to make tea for Kocho Sensei and his guests. She quickly rushes to the kitchenette from her desk. Carla Sensei pours three green teas, placing them thoughtfully on a tray. She walks nervously up to the door of Kocho Sensei’s office and knocks tentatively…
CARLA SENSEI: Sumimasen (excuse me)
Carla Sensei opens the door, balancing the tray in one hand.
CARLA SENSEI: shitsurei shimasu (sorry for the rude interruption)
Kocho Sensei looks up, surprised. He turns to explain to his guests who Carla Sensei is.
KOCHO SENSEI: Carla san wa, A-L-T desu. Kanojo wa Osutoraria kara kimashita. (Carla is our ALT. She is from Australia).
Carla Sensei places the tea cups on the table and bows.
KOCHO SENSEI: Arigato gozaimasu (thank you)
Carla Sensei bows again and leaves the office. As she shuts the door behind her she looks up to find 4 sets of eyes looking at her. Yamazaki Sensei, Kataoka Sensei, Nakajima Sensei and Watahiki Sensei grin broadly and shake their heads in disbelief.
SENSEIS: Subarashi!!! (wow, fantastic!!!)
The Senseis break into spontanious applause as Carla Sensei blushes and returns to her desk, having successfully served ‘Tea for Three’.